


This Time Around

by Demimonde (teakturn)



Series: Smoakin Billionaires [4]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Angst, Arguing, Break Up, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/M, Heartbreak, Hurt/Comfort, Love, M/M, Makeup Sex, Multi, Polyamory, Polyfidelity, Protectiveness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-06
Updated: 2016-03-05
Packaged: 2018-05-05 05:33:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5363210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teakturn/pseuds/Demimonde
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tommy wants a life outside of Arrow and Starling City.<br/>Oliver wants to protect the people he loves.<br/>Felicity just wants everyone to be happy again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So these three are kind of my bread and butter. I hope you enjoy.

"You could try, you know." Felicity says morosely in the silence following a heated yelling match between Oliver and Tommy.

This had been the worst argument she'd ever seen them have, and she suspected it probably was. Oliver didn't do well with change, of any sort. And Tommy didn't do well with being stifled. Oliver liked familiar, safe, things he knew and understood. Tommy craved freedom with every fibre of his being. He'd spent his entire life in a cage of some sort since his mother died. The same city, the same empty mansion, the same forgettable girls to take home from a club. Oliver had been off in an unfamiliar land filled with unfamiliar people who abided by a different sort of rules than the ones he'd grown up learning and actively disregarding.

Tommy just wanted to try something new, he'd been hinting towards wanting to expand his knowledge of cooking and going to an actual culinary school for a few weeks now. And though she'd been slightly busy and distracted with the Triad the first time he'd brought it up, Felicity wholeheartedly believe he should indeed go ahead and pursue the interest.

After selling his father's company following his death and officially turning over the care of _Verdant_ to Thea, Tommy hadn't had much to occupy his time with aside from cooking. Oliver was busy with _Queen's Consolidated_ , as was Felicity. With his two partner's tied up almost all hours of the day, Tommy had enrolled in a simple cooking class. Branching out now and then to cook for _Verdant_ on a particularly busy night to shake up the club's image and bring in even more people.

Felicity and Oliver had encouraged his hobby, Felicity out of a genuine interest to see Tommy happy and doing something for himself for once. Oliver more or less tolerated it because it assuage some of his guilt over his neglect of Tommy. He just didn't have the time to do more than flop on his boyfriend's lap and fall asleep or (when he wasn't dead tired) to worry about his safety. Tommy was understanding, of course he was, he never asked for more than either of them could give him. Sometimes not even asking for that. All he asked for was one day out of the week for just the three of them and (generally) he got that.

Felicity couldn't pinpoint when, couldn't tell you if it was a gradual thing or just something that randomly popped up but Tommy began to get that look in his eye when he needed a drastic change. He got that cagey sort of look in his eye that meant that he'd randomly decide to make a trip to Australia or maybe he'd suddenly buy a new car (despite the fact that they typically used driver's to get around Starling). It was Felicity's job to look out for that sort of thing, always had been in their relationship. She was the only one of the three of them to actually acknowledge her feelings and talk them out instead of getting scared and lashing out. For four years now she's kept the three of them from breaking up from little fights that meant nothing and from falling apart because of big fights that meant too much to comprehend.

Felicity kept Tommy from running away when all he wanted was to pull them closer, and she kept Oliver from pushing them all away in his need to be perfect and protect them from himself. But with Oliver dealing with training Thea and Laurel for the field (after Felicity fought to get him to allow them onto _Team Arrow_ ) and Felicity essentially running _Queen's Consolidated_ by herself, paying attention to the restless tapping of Tommy's fingers or the strange midnight baking fell to the wayside. Maybe if she'd noticed, put more effort into watching the signs, she could have prevented this blow up.

"He doesn't know what's out there, Felicity. He want's to go off during the most dangerous time for Starling and leave me vulnerable worrying about him." Oliver gritted out between clenched teeth. Every muscle in his body was tense, she could see that from where she stood across the living room. He spoke towards the floor, and Felicity had a hard time not demanding he look at her when he spoke to her.

"He wants to go to culinary school." Felicity reiterated calmly. Tommy had showed him the brochures, the pamphlets spread out across the coffee table in mock nonchalance even though Felicity could see the effort with which he'd put into deciding which school he'd wanted to go to. Tommy had put in a lot of care towards his decision, more than she's seen him put towards anything that wasn't his appearance, their relationship, or Thea. She'd been immensely proud of him in that moment, he'd found something he'd wanted to do, something not tainted by his father or death or even Oliver and his vendetta against anyone trying to harm his family and his city.

"In Gotham! Have you seen the crime rates? How many times has Gotham been basically brought to it's knees by one man? How many times has innocent bystanders been brutally murdered?" Oliver began to pace in front of their t.v. and Felicity spared a moment of worry for the delicate device. Should he lose his temper he'd have no problem lashing out at the first thing available to his fists.

"They have a wonderful culinary program! You act like Tommy is just going to walk around the city with a 'Property of the Green Arrow' sign on his back. He's going to study! He'll be gone for two years, tops, and then he'll be back at home." Felicity's voice implored him to see reason, but even as she spoke he began shaking his head stubbornly.

"If something happens to him he'll be on the other side of the country. I won't be able to reach him in time to- I won't be able to-" Oliver's voice cracked and tears filled his eyes. He quickly blinked them away and took a moment to compose himself before continuing. "There are plenty of culinary programs here in Starling. He's going to pick one, study how to make creme brulee or something and be safe within the city's confines."

Finished with his argument, Oliver stiffly began walking out of the living room, passin Felicity without so much as a glance as he made his way down the hallway to their bedroom.

Before he could get far, Felicity called to his retreating back, "Will you ignore him then? Force him to go somewhere he doesn't want to, fit the bill and pay whatever damages he causes to the school to shut up the staff and reduce the chance of a scandal. Will you force him to sit in a house with no love in it and suffer the lose of a loved one alone?" Felicity's hitting below the belt but she doesn't care. Tommy does so much for the both of them, puts up with so much. All he wants is for them to allow him to continue this journey he's taken to find himself outside of his father's influence.

"It's for his own good, Felicity." Oliver says lowly, not even turning around.

The silence that engulfs the both of them is pregnant with tension and unspoken words. Felicity feels bad she hadn't left when Tommy did, he'd gotten out early, ran before Oliver could reveal just how much of an ass he could be before nine o'clock. The house echo's even now with the booming bellow coming from two men with too much fire to back down from a fight, from Felicity fighting to be heard over it all.

This is not how their home is supposed to sound. Theirs is a home of ample laughter and the sound of pillows being thrown about as weapons, kissing and moans of pleasure as they partake in one another in one of the rare instances they all have the time. Their home smells like Felicity's favorite wine, just opened for a nightly catch up/movie night. Just for the three of them. Their home smells like Tommy's Turkish coffee and Oliver's herbs from the island. Their home smells like her perfume and their colognes respectively.

Not the bitter stench of the remnants of the meal Tommy had been cooking for them when they came home. It'd been left to burn when Oliver proved just how pigheaded he could be. Embroiled in battle as they were, Felicity was the only one who had enough foresight to turn of the stove before they could add burned down house to the list of how wrong this night has gone.

"Say hi to Malcolm for me," Felicity calls when she hears Oliver begin to open the door to their bedroom. "I'm sure he'd be proud again, not only have you taken up the bow but now you've taken on controlling Tommy and making him feel worthless."

Felicity knows her words are enough to turn Oliver's wrath away from Tommy and onto her, and she doesn't care. He _is_ being like Malcolm Merlyn, to an almost alarming degree. He deserves to know she won't stand for it, no matter what his reasons are.

"Goodnight, Felicity."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This came to me in a dream so if it's not that good I'm sorry it's very rushed.

Felicity found Tommy exactly where she expected him to be; in the kitchen at Queen Mansion. It was late, just past eleven, and Thea was no doubt cuddled up with Roy upstairs, happily unaware of her brother baking what looked like another batch of cupcakes and cookies. He worked in semi darkness, his blue eye focused intently on whipping eggs carefully into some milky white mixture in a pot. There was flour covering the deep blue sweater she'd gotten him last Christmas, what looked like buttercream frosting smeared across one sharp cheekbone.

"You could have done that at home, you know." She calls out softly. He pauses in his stirring briefly, but he doesn't look up before resuming his frantic whipping.

"Oliver send you?" He asks tensely. She watches his jaw clench tightly for a moment, in anticipation of her answer, but she decides to ignore his question and wrap herself around him instead. He's tense when she wraps her arms around him from behind, but she's moves slowly to allow him to acclimate to her touch. By the time she rests her cheek against his back he's moved the pot of eggy milk stuff off the stove and began slowly spooning it into the sorbet maker someone had given Raisa for her birthday. He allows her to cling to him through all of this, even when the extra weight slows down his movements. Sorbet done and over with, he turns to frost the cupcakes.

"I allow him his vigilante life, I know how much it means to him. I say nothing when he allows Thea to get caught up in that life, I say nothing when he recruits Laurel. I say nothing when he comes home with more scars and bruises and new nightmares to add to ones he already has. But I ask for this one thing. I ask for support in what I want and he...he just..." Tommy viciously frosts three more cupcakes before he realizes they're still too warm and the frosting is melting off. He drops the cupcake in his hand in disgust and leans his weight onto the countertop while he tries to cool the anger he tries so hard to shy away from.

"He loves you." Is all Felicity can think to say.

Tommy snorts and shakes his head,"It's not his love I'm doubting. I know he'd kill for me, you, and Thea in a heartbeat. It's him letting us make our own decisions that worries me."

Tommy begins stacking cookies into tupperware containers as he speaks, his movements jerky and overly forceful. He's moving so quickly it takes him a moment to realize he still has a dozen or so cookies left over and no more room in the container he's currently filling. With a frustrated exhale he slaps on a lid and pushes the container away.

"He pushed Thea away for years to protect her from the horrors of their mother and my father, from the horror he thought he'd become after leaving the island. He pushed me and you away viciously to keep us from being hurt by his alter ego, from each other. He thinks he knows best and he forces it on everyone else without a thought to how they feel."

Tommy's tirade took him out of her arms and pacing from the oven to the fridge anxiously. He opened a cabinet, in search of more containers, before closing it a touch too hard and going back to frost the still warm cupcakes. Felicity re wrapped herself around him and placed her palms over his heart, trying to force him to calm through her touch alone. He was wound up and irritated and baking usually soothed him. But twenty cupcakes later, three dozen cookies, and one quietly freezing sorbet later; his hands are still shaking in anger and his breathing can't regulate.

Tommy never yelled, that wasn't his style, but the quiet intensity in his words and his stress baking made Felicity realize he'd put a lot more thought into this. This hadn't come on just because Oliver had spurned his idea to move to Gotham to go to culinary school. This was something that'd been festering in his mind long enough for Oliver's current stubbornness to push him to a breaking point he'd never reached with Oliver before.

"He wants to protect us from himself and the people coming after him. It's been him and him alone fighting and surviving, thinking about his past selfishness and how much he never thought things through. Including others in his thought process is hard for him." Felicity kissed his shoulder and tried to will her words to register. Oliver was being an ass about this whole thing, but Tommy was also overreacting, if they could both just see this and work it out they can move past this and Felicity won't have to be in the middle anymore.

Tommy rounded on her angrily, frustratedly. He probably thought she was taking Oliver's side over his, choosing Oliver over him (again). That's how arguments between the three of them often went. Oliver usually had a good reason to feel a certain way about something, but the way he went about expressing it led to arguments and petty fights where there shouldn't be one. Felicity often tries to placate Tommy and foster a quicker agreement by explaining Oliver's stance, but that usually led to Tommy arguing that no matter what was said she'd always choose Oliver's side over his.

"That doesn't make it right, Felicity."

"I know, baby, I know."

Tommy groaned at her placating words and cupped her face in his hands. His blue eyes bore into her's with a frightening intensity, and she had to fight the urge to blink or look away, "He can't just make decisions for us because he's bad at communication. We're not Laurel, we're not gonna wait for him to make the right choice. Our relationship is a give and take and lately all I've been doing is giving."

"Just wait it out, you know how he can be sometimes." Felicity said soothingly. She placed her hands over his and tried to signal without saying anything that he needed to loosen his grip. He gets the hint and he visibly tries to calm himself down a bit. He takes several deep breaths and places his hands on her hips. His grip tightens briefly when she wraps her arms around his neck to further pull him into a hug, but then he settles into the embrace.

This right here, this quiet exchange between the two of them would never work with Oliver. Tommy understood soft touches, hugs, meaningful tightening of fingers. Tommy could read Felicity's body like a book, like his favorite book, and understand every word she was trying to convey. So with a simple tug on the slightly too long hair at the nape of his neck, Felicity begged him to calm down and _talk_ to her. With a meaningful press of her lips against his easily accessible collar bone she reminds him she's here to listen. With a lingering caress from across his back she reminds him she's on his side.

In no time she has him melting further into her embrace. His breathing and heart beat slows, the tension in his body leaks out until he's practically puddling in her arms. With another brief kiss to his jaw Felicity pulls back and tries to gaze meaningfully into his much warmer and softer eyes.

"You're unfairly understanding of everything Oliver and I put you through. You deal with the late nights, broken dates, kidnapping scares, all of it. You deserve to do this, you deserve to go after this dream." Knowing he might not like what she's about to say next, Felicity buries her nose into the crook of his neck so she doesn't have to meet his eyes, "We just have to wait and get Oliver on board." the tension reemerges immediately, "We just have to give Oliver time..."

"Felicity," Tommy sighs, "I'm thirty one years old. I'm starting late as it is I can't wait for Oliver anymore. I already waited five years thinking he was dead on the island. I waited two years for him, and then you, to figure out you loved me and wanted to be with me. I can't do this anymore, I can't just wait."

Felicity felt her heart jump painfully into her throat. She pulled herself out of Tommy's arms to get a better look at his face when she asked, "What do you mean?"

She feared the worst when he refused to look at her. Their relationship was unconventional, she realized that, they all realized that. But it's been working and going strong for a long time now. Sure, the communication suffers a bit with the demands of their jobs, and she knew Oliver and Tommy had been at each other's throats a lot more than usual. But she didn't think anything was wrong with their relationship as a whole. She hadn't thought Tommy was unhappy.

Tommy knows Felicity, he knew the second her mind careened off the right path and went instantly to the worst conclusions. So he spoke his next words quickly, but carefully. Choosing to look her in the eye to let her know how serious he is about what he's saying.

"I mean, I'm going to Gotham, with or without Oliver's approval. And I'd think it's best if we got some distance anyway. Our relationship hasn't been okay in a while."

Felicity felt her heart drop from her throat and into her stomach,"You're breaking up with us?"

"No, baby." Tommy was quick to clarify. He reached out and linked their hands together, "But Oliver and I need to decide if this relationship is what we really want. I would hope that whatever we decide won't hurt our relationship as well."

Felicity nodded numbly, because despite Tommy's denial, she knew that their relationship was going to be hit hard should Tommy just go off to Gotham without Oliver's approval. She knew Tommy was a grown man, but Oliver loved him too much to just be okay with the possibility of losing him. And frankly she felt the same way. She loved Tommy and Oliver with every inch of her heart. She definitely sees the three of them growing old together. And while the thought of Tommy moving to the east coast causes her a little bit of preemptive separation anxiety and makes her abandonment issues pop up something fierce, she knows it'd make him happy.

But now add on the fact that he's willing to leave while their relationship is in trouble just reinforces the fear that Tommy might leave and never-

"Come back to me, bug." Tommy whispers against her forehead as he presses his lips to her skin repeatedly. His kisses are short, sweet, and soft. They make her chest ache as she thinks of not waking up to these lips, not being able to kiss them on her way out the door or before bed. Before she knows it a traitorous tear has snuck it's way onto her cheek.

"Felicity, please." Tommy whispers brokenly.

Felicity tries to force herself out of her stupor and wipes away the lone traitor quickly. As if the speed with which she gets rid of it may erase the fact that it was ever there.

"Tommy I'm so happy that you've found something happy but isn't there anyway we can compromise? That's what relationships and love and...and family are about. Isn't there anything..." Felicity's voice betrays her desperation. She's suddenly done a one eighty, going from 'Pro Tommy goes to Gotham' to 'tie him up to keep him at home.'

Looking into the deep endlessly beautiful and pain filled blue in Tommy's eyes only makes her that much more confused. She _wants_ Tommy to go to Gotham. She knows that Starling City is his home, their home. No matter how long he's gone he'll always come back, he'll always come home.

But he's thinking of ending things, she knows it. He may not have said it outright but it's implied. He'd go to Gotham just to run away from them all.

"Of course I'll stay with you. But culinary school is my dream and if my dream's in Gotham that's where I need to be." Tommy declares with a fierce determination she's can't remember ever seeing before.

Felicity feels too shellshocked with the knowledge that she could lose him to formulate a proper response, so she attaches herself to him and hugs him fiercely. She buries her face into his chest and cries as silently as possible, comforted by the fact that she hasn't been reduced to sobbing. Sobbing would make this so much more pathetic than it already is.

Tommy, for his part, doesn't comment on the wetness steadily soaking his shirt, and allows her to cling to him while pressing more of his feather light kisses to the crown of her head.

"I am proud of you Tommy, I just want you to know that."

"Of course I know that, bug. Why do you think I have the courage to do this at all?"


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this has taken so long to update because the second I went on Winter Break so many dramatic things happened at once and for two weeks I was unable to get to my computer for longer than an hour.
> 
> Once WB ended I had Tech Week two weeks in a row for two different shows I was in, and then two weekends in a row I had shows to do.
> 
> The last week of January was finals and I spent every day of that week studying and turning in work.
> 
> I can't promise there won't be another delay in my updating but hopefully not one so vast as the one I've just ended.

A sort of cease fire settles on the Smoak/Queen/Merlyn household and Tommy's decision on whether he will or won't go to Gotham isn't brought up again.

A full time kitchen is added into Verdant due to popular demand, Felicity fully steps into the role of a CEO at Queens Consolidated with Oliver's blessing, and Oliver finishes Laurels training. As a whole the three of them feel accomplished and unendingly busy, but are too afraid of what might be said between them should they have any free time not used for sleeping, eating, and (when there's time/energy for it) making love. This limbo period lasts for two weeks before it all comes to a head the bi-monthly (mandatory) family dinner at Queen Mansion.

The whole gang is there; Thea and Roy playing hosts, John and Lyla with baby Sara, and Tommy, Felicity and Oliver. They're all in the sitting room nursing drinks and catching up on things that don't have to do with Team Arrow. On one couch Thea perches delicately on Roy's lap holding Sara, making the little girl laugh and coo while Tommy looks on fondly. On another couch, John and Lyla lean into one another, enjoying a moment to just be a couple without worrying about being parents.

The only people who aren't sitting is Oliver and Felicity. They stand together near the fireplace, enjoying the warmth of the flames, of the room, of the mismatched family they've managed to patch together. The only sound that can be heard is the trilling laugh of little Sara, Thea and Tommy's responding chuckles, and the soft crackle of the fire. Felicity feels as if the room is bathed in this happy, shiny glow. She wonders if is the time to break out a camera, with everyone acting like normal people for once, enjoying normal people things. That's how deeply content she feels. A feeling she's never been able to successfully recapture in so long.

She eventually decides against it. This was a moment she knew needed to be experienced without some photocopy backup. A picture could never capture the feeling of utter joy she feels right now. Not even a video could successful encompass the glee she feels at seeing Tommy laugh and Oliver relax. The moment she's in is too fragile to try to preserve it for longer than it needs to be. Unfortunately the moment ends a lot sooner than she'd hoped.

"So when are you, Oliver, and Felicity going to have a little bundle of joy of your own." Thea asks none too subtly while wiping dripping slobber off Sara's chin. She tried to seem nonchalant about it but Felicity was on red alert immediately.

All she's been able to think about lately is whether or not her boys want children. She know's Tommy is crazy about Sara, has always been crazy about Thea, and is in general loved by every child he encounters. But she also knows Oliver thinks he's lucky enough to have the two people he cares about most after all that he'd endured on the Island. Children hadn't entered his mind in nearly a decade. With Thea throwing baby talk around Felicity has a moment of panicked thought mostly centered around whether or not she cleared her internet history after she went down this baby rabbit hole online after her boys had fallen asleep and when was the last time she updated her birth control shots.

Thea laughs at Felicity's obviously panicked expression and throws her head back,"I should hope you've at least thought about it Mrs. Queen-Merlyn. You are the resident babymaker here."

Felicity's mouth went agape and she found herself exclaiming,"Umm I am not the only one in this room with a uterus. What about Lyla and Diggle, or better yet: you and Roy?"

As the words leave her mouth the room erupts in chatter and laughter. Roy seems to sink further into the couch beneath him, Diggle and Lyla shake their heads no in tandem, and Tommy puts on a real show of grimacing and gagging. Oliver joins in the second Tommy's bit puts him on the floor pretending to dry heave.

Felicity wasn't in the mood to deal with their apparent denial about their sister's sex life. So she immediately sends the room into another bout of gagging and yelling by saying, "Don't play games you two, I know you both accidentally heard Roy and Thea getting it on in the-"

Oliver's hand is on her mouth so quickly she actually stops speaking in shock. Tommy was now on his feet, walking in circles about the room and covering his ears. Thea rolled her eyes and grumpily settled further into Roy's embrace, "Oh grow up you two, as if I haven't walked in on you guys with-"

Once again the room erupts, mostly because of Tommy and Oliver trying to keep her from naming names and baby Sara just making noise to feel apart of the conversation. Oliver starts denying ever having sex in the mansion with her in it and Thea starts counting off times she's caught him going at it on her hands. Diggle is laughing a loud, full bellied laugh that causes even Felicity to burst into giggles at the sight of the three siblings dramatically arguing at one another.

"Does no one in this family lock doors?" Lyla asked John with a chuckle. Everyone paused, shocked into silence by her statement before quickly laughing with her, and if it was possible the room became brighter and warmer with the laughter filling it.

Felicity finds her mind circling back to the idea of having children with Tommy and Oliver. She'd thought of it. She'd thought of it a lot, actually. But her schedule never allowed for the time to even do baby making let alone raising one. And could the three of them even have kids? She's sure that if she went off her birth control and carried on the way they've been for the past four years, she could very well get pregnant. But what would that birth certificate look like? Would the baby legally be a Queen or a Merlyn? Would Oliver and Tommy be okay being the father (step father?) to a child that's not theirs?

When everyone settled down and went back to their original positions and tasks in the room, Tommy declared,"Besides, having a baby right now won't work anyway. I'll be in Gotham for a year soon."

His declaration shocks the room into silence. Everyone is left staring at him in shock and disbelief. Everyone except Oliver of course. His face turns into stone almost immediately and he storms from the room before anything more can be said. Tommy, with a stiff set to his jaw, excuses himself to follow after Oliver. Felicity, less enthusiastically, sets down her glass of wine and tells everyone to go on and eat should Raisa call them all to dinner. Then she follows after her two boys and prepares herself for the final storm.

These past two weeks have been filled with nothing but tense, aching quiet that left her missing how the three of them used to be. And now, things were all coming to a head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not at all edited.


	4. Chapter 4

When Felicity enters the library her boys have retreated to, she finds Oliver pacing angrily from one end of the room to the other, and Tommy mimics he's pacing. The tension in the room is thick enough to choke her, and she pads into the room carefully. As if stepping like she's walking on eggshells will keep the fallout from being too bad.

They'd waited too long to have this conversation, Felicity knows this. But still she wished she could have put it off a little while longer. Pretend like the end isn't staring the three of them in the dace. She'd gotten greedy. She'd enjoyed having her cake and eating it too and now she must pay. Felicity herself may be Jewish but her mother grew up Catholic, and for some reason in Catholicism there's no way something good can happen without something bad immediately following it's path.

"I thought we talked about his. I thought we all agreed that you would stay here and go to one of the schools in Starling. Didn't we agree on this? Felicity?" Oliver spat out the words through a clenched jaw. They settled over the room like a weight and Felicity might be exaggerating but for a second it seemed like it got harder to breath. Before she could even say anything, Tommy's voice cracked out like a whip.

"No, Oliver, you decided I was staying in Starling and none of us agreed. Just like you decided that the three of us are never going to have kids. Oh wait, I forgot. You never told Felicity that did you?" Tommy sounded bitter and his voice was acidic. None of it's usual bubble like light heartedness. Felicity feels as though she should flinch away from his words, protect herself from the blows he's raining down on everyone in the room.

"No, Tommy. You don't get to throw this in my face now. I'm making these decisions to protect you. Both of you. Sure, the media's fine with our relationship now. But when we have kids? Do you know what hell they're going to go through?" Oliver shot a worried look at Felicity, who stood catatonically near the entrance of the door. Tommy's words were still settling like weights in the pit of her stomach. The thought of children scared her, now. Who's to say a few years down the line she won't decide she's ready. It's just now...everything's so poisoned. Their relationship is so sick and broken she doesn't think bringing a child into their lives will help it.

She can't even decide if she's angry or not. As Oliver gets in Tommy's face, tense and corded up with muscle, spittle flying from his mouth as he passionately defends his choices for their relationship, Felicity settles into a nearby armchair. As Tommy comes back at Oliver which just as much fire, venom, and vitriol, Felicity feels her throat close up. all the fears she's had as a child crawling from the dark corner of her mind she locked them in.

She hides it well, at least she hopes she does, but having your father walk out of your life at such a young age does things to you. Makes relationships (romantic or otherwise) so much harder to put trust into. She's trusted both Oliver and Tommy with pieces of her she's never allowed anyone to see. She fought through media speculation for _months_ that she wasn't some some golddigger, planning on bringing down both of Starling's "Golden Boys". She's sacrificed so much and now it ending, before her eyes. Over whether or not they'll have children. Over whether or not Tommy's going to go to culinary school.

And all at once it's too much. She can't deal with this right now. She can't deal with the inevitable end. She has to end it herself.

"Enough," She sighs quietly. Somehow, over the yelling, they both hear her. They quiet down, but don't back down from one another. "I'm not gonna sit here, and watch this be dragged out. Oliver, I want kids. Someday, one day. And you deciding for me that it's not gonna happen isn't acceptable. I think we need to take a break."

"Felicity w-" Oliver begins, but Felicity has begun to stand, and she fixes Tommy with a sad look, and she's so thankful he can read her like a book. She's so thankful because she doesn't thinks she could say it again.

"I think, what we tried to do here, was a mistake. I think it was a mistake all along. Just because three people can love each other, doesn't mean they need to be in a relationship. We made a mistake. Luckily we're all still young enough that..." Felicity fights against the tears forming in her eyes. She can't cry right now. She has to get this out now. "I can't let you both poison what's good about this relationship. So, before it ends in fire and flames, before we're all not talking to each other and doing even more to hurt one another, let's end it."

Without giving either of them a chance to say anything, Felicity quietly lets herself out of the library. As expected, Thea and Roy guiltily stand on the other side of the door. Felicity fights for a smile to cross her lips, fights for a laugh to bubble out her throat. But her attempts are pitiful, and she has to sniff and take a deep, shaking breath after both before she can address them.

"Thank you for inviting me Thea. I hope....that no matter what happens, you and I can remain friends."

Felicity makes one more stop into the sitting room to gather her things, and then makes her way out of Queen Mansion. No one follows her. No one tries to stop her. And she does not cry until she makes it back to their empty home.

Or is it a house now? A home is so much warmer than the cold, dark building awaiting her entrance. Home is Saturday morning cuddling and breakfast in bed. Home is working on her tablet on the couch with her boys. Home is silly arguments that end in apologies and kissing and love making.

That's not going to be happening here.

Not anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is not at all edited.


	5. End

Felicity is (mercifully) allowed to stew in her own juices on her own for a full night before the boys come home the next morning. Everything is tense again, and today is the one day that they all have off together.

Great!

Felicity isn't even aware of their presence in the house until she finally pulls herself out of bed and into the kitchen in search of food. She's still in last nights dress but she's had the foresight to clean her face of whatever makeup was left over after she cried most of it off. All in all she doesn't look as bad as she could and she find it both a blessing and a curse.

'Cause inwardly, she's a mess. She's stuck in this spiral of nausea with no way out. The way she just gave up on four years of a loving and beautiful relationship left her numb and adrift. She's been apart of Tommy and Oliver for so long now she doesn't know how to go back to who she was before she found her true loves.

And God does that sound pathetic. _True Loves_. But she doesn't know what else to call them. She's never known happiness like them, never known love, true love, until they showed it to her. It took her so long to get to a point to where she wasn't afraid of waking up and finding they'd been the worst (best) dream of her life. She thought her heart couldn't handle dreaming them up and having them leave her.

And in a way she was right. In the beginning, Tommy going away to culinary school was a tiny blip on her overcrowded radar. Queen's Consolidated is dealing with the acquisition of a new company, there was a rapist blazing a trail of terror through the Glades, etc. Tommy going away to culinary school was almost a relief, because it was one less thing to worry about and she had so much to worry about.

But then it truly set in. Tommy was leaving her....them...to follow his dream. She couldn't let him walk away. She couldn't stand by and let him turn his back on her. It was selfish, she knew, but she's selfish when it comes to those two.

When her dad left, it took little five year old Felicity a month to truly believe he wouldn't come back. It took thirty mornings of no Daddy and Felicity breakfasts, no afternoons of being picked up by her dad in his beat up Datsun, no goodnight kisses, before little five year old Felicity accepted that her father wasn't coming back. Felicity knew...no she _thought_ her dad loved her enough to stay in her life. 

Just like she _thought_ Tommy loved her and Oliver enough not to abandon them.

When she enters the kitchen, her boys sit at the table in last nights clothes with cups of coffee in front of them. It makes her tear up all over again when she realizes that she could make them both a cup of coffee just the way they liked it with her eyes closed.

Tommy can't even drink the stuff without two little packets of creamer and seven and half sugars. Oliver likes his black, with just one sugar cube to help with he bitterness.

No one says anything when Felicity bypasses the coffee in favor of her decaf green tea. She'd been feeling nauseous lately and this was the only thing that helped. It wasn't as good as a good cuppa coffee, but it'd do while she dealt with her problems for once.

When she finally sits in _her_ chair, Tommy turns to her with red rimmed eyes and a stubbled jaw. It makes her think back to their second year together, when Tommy broke his arm in a gliding accident and Felicity threatened to shave him herself if he didn't stop moving so much while injured. It's been an adorable six months of watch stubble turn into scrub, scruff into a beard, and a beard that seemed to get fuller by noon.

Despite his obvious injury, Tommy always said that those sixth months were one of the happiest of his life. He finally had the guy and girl of his dreams, he finally moved (unofficially at the time) into Felicity's house so she could take care of him after work, and he watched a plethora of cooking shows that have inspired him to this day. Oliver was lighter then too, if it's possible. He'd been so troubled while dealing with his attraction to his best friend and Felicity. Finally having them together had been a joy for him. 

A relief

"Did you mean it?" Tommy asks with a hoarse voice. Seems he and Oliver hadn't let up with the yelling once she'd left. Or maybe he'd been crying since last night like her.

Felicity shrugged and absently stirred the honey into her tea. She knew they both hated when she closed up, almost as much as she hated when Oliver became too stubborn to see all the damage he was doing while trying to right things. But she couldn't answer, she just couldn't. Honestly, she hadn't meant it. She hadn't meant a single word of what she said that night. 

She's just so afraid of being left. It's hard to be left behind if your the one always leaving.

"Felicity, I know things have been hard for us lately with Team arrow and the company, but if we need to take a break to work on our relationship then I'm-" Oliver shot a glance, too quick for someone not looking for it, " _we're_ willing to do that. We both don't want to lose you, or throw this all away. We shouldn't let a stupid argument over culinary school or having children derail a relationship that's been going strong for four years now."

There was a pause, both men wanted to hear what Felicity was planning on saying before they made any more declarations they just might not be able to keep. When it looked like she wasn't ready to speak, Tommy pushed his cup away and stood abruptly out of his chair. He paced from the kitchen table to their fridge, from the fridge to the sink, from the sink to the backdoor.

He was a ball of nervous energy and he didn't seem to know what to do with his hands since he alternated between putting them in his pockets, then crossing them across his chest, then running them through his hair. And this act made one absurd thought pop into Felicities head.

He needed a haircut. She was supposed to remind him after he got swamped with cooking for Verdant and never told him.

As Felicity processed this thought, Tommy turned and stopped pacing, "I hired one of the top French chef's currently in the country to come to Starling and take me on as a pupil. He was little surprised to receive my call so late but he took my offer as long as I was able to pay him and he'd move into my father's mansion with me and teach me what he can."

Tommy spoke quickly and when he finished he let out a large breath, as if he'd been choking on these words for so long that getting them out allowed him to breath again.

When Felicity again didn't answer, Oliver spoke up and grabbed her hand. He folded their fingers together and turned in his chair to look meaningfully at Tommy to beckon him over. Once Tommy was seated and his hand was also enfolded in Oliver's, Oliver began to speak. "I'm not against the idea of having children. I'm just terrified of the prospect of being a father. My own dad was as good as a father as he could be with just the company to shoulder. But I have Team Arrow and all these enemies who won't hesitate to take advantage of you or Tommy or whoever else comes along in my life." 

Oliver pauses as he forcibly makes his jaw unclench so he can continue, "I couldn't handle being responsible for the death of another person I love. After Mom, and Dad, and Sara (twice), I don't think I could recover if I allowed myself to put you two or our children in danger."

Felicity was now the only one among them who hadn't given her big revelation and apologized. She was still kind of reeling from the fact that Tommy wasn't actually leaving her and that Oliver _did_ believe in the possibility of the three of them starting a family. But there was still so much she didn't understand about their sudden change of heart.

"But...why change your plans now? I know that I didn't mean it when I said we were a mistake and I wanted to end things, but.... That was...you guys!" For once in her life Felicity found herself speechless. She honestly didn't know what to say.

"Thea kind of....set us straight. Along with Diggle inadvertently knocking our heads together." Tommy managed a tearful laugh, and Felicity found herself sharing his tear filled smile and feeling a wave of relief washing through her.

"So what do you say, bug. Wanna give us two knuckle heads a chance to fully right our wrongs." Oliver, not yet in tears but getting there, gives both of his loves a careful look full of meaning, different meaning, for both. Felicity nods enthusiastically and blindly leans her face forward to receive a kiss from both her boys before she goes into a real crying jag.

She's just so filled with emotion she doesn't know what to do with herself. She feels relief more than anything, to know that the relationship she poured so much of herself into wouldn't end up with her being left once again. With that thought she begins to really sob and she knows that Tommy and Oliver are shooting concerned looks at one another over the top of her messy blonde ponytail, but even that doesn't make her stop crying.

"Damn hormones," manages to get out between sobs. When she manages to clear her eyes enough to look at Tommy and Oliver they both look stricken and peer at each other with undisguised confusion/horror.

"This isn't how I wanted to tell you but I'm pregnant. Well, I think I'm pregnant. I haven't taken a test yet and I'm mostly going off of how sore my boobs feel and how late my period is. I didn't think it was anything at first because I'm so stressed my period is often irregular but for some reason it has been no show for like three months so I've been doing late night cram sessions on whether or not i'm actually pregnant or if I'm just projecting because of-"

Delicately, Oliver and Tommy layer their hands over her mouth and shoot her a stern, "We love you but stop talking please," look.

"Are you, and please just nod yes or no, telling us we might be father's?" Tommy asks.

Felicity nods once.

"And you were willing to break up with us and what... never tell us that one of us possibly fathered a child with you." Oliver asks.

Felicity frown because she hadn't exactly planned that far ahead but before she can open her mouth to try to talk through the hands covering her mouth, Tommy shoots her a stern look. Chastised, she shrugs and nods once more.

They both give exasperated and (in her opinion) exaggerated sighs, before releasing her mouth.

"Guess this conversation should have happened a while ago." Tommy says with a voice thick with and emotion Felicity can't decode. Oliver, with a similar shellshocked look on his face, nods once before dropping his head into his hands

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If there's anything you disagree with in the ending or if you want me to continue to write Smoking Billionaires please let me know and tell me any ideas you have


End file.
